incipit vita nova

Cannabis Baby: Mascot for One and All!

I've never had call to categorize something under so many categories before!

Cannabis Baby is the loveable mascot for our line of tshirts made for one and all ...

Right now he's the top-selling shirt and I'm sure everyone can see why ...

He successfully completed the Masters last week, and President Obama has appointed him Drug Czar ... vote yeah baby!!

It's all in a day's work for Cannabis Baby. With a lifestyle like this, he can't help but be rich and famous.

 

A Clockwork Orange

When I was young, some might have said I was self-destructive, filled with rage, and on the road to ruin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seriously. I was obsessed with A Clockwork Orange and Malcolm McDowell. I felt like a droog. Lacking much of a body, I dressed as a boy, with 28x32 Levis (back when that meant what it said), a tight white t-shirt and suspenders on occasions. I purchased a cane with a bronze duck head with which I did unspeakable damage to other people's property at the Claremont Colleges.

I was never caught. I took pic on left today. I love you Malcom. What happened to you bro?

Advanced Style Means Fashion at 70 and Older

As the proud granddaughter of a practitioner of Advanced Style, I have to feature the new book by Ari Seth Cohen. If you're interested in people breaking the mold, defying convention, or just think that society's rules are ridiculous, then you should adore Ari's book, Advanced Style.

This gorgeous creature is Bridget Sojourner. The cover model for Advanced Style is the very Nana-like Gitte Lee.

Ari says that style advances with age, and I have to agree with him. I can't say enough good things about this book, and I want to knock many of these ladies down and steal their clothes. Bridget is welcome to her green gloves but I'm taking the jacket and pants for myself.

There are also 12 days to go on the Kickstarter for Ari's film and less than $10,000 needed - so pledge if you love fashion and older women!

 

 

"I'm Not Just the Fat Girl"

For some reason this a.m., looking into the false information that "Marilyn Monroe was a size 16," I came across Chrissy, the author of All My Jiggly Bits, and wanted to share her mini-documentary and some of her great thoughts on being a person.

In the film, Chrissy shows footage from a trip to Ecuador and says that while there, she realized that our concerns in America today are pretty unimportant compared to what people confront in Ecuador. She realized while there that she was "not just the fat girl" and that her change began when she returned home and realized she was with people, her family and friends, who loved her just the way she is. When she was younger, Chrissy said

. . . I hated who I was, I hated how I looked, I hated how I felt . . .

She no longer feels that way, and feels great about herself, which is how she should!

It's a pretty easy way to put someone down -- just call them fat. Most famously, the false information that Marilyn Monroe was a "size 16" or "fat" was put about by Elizabeth Hurley, who very clearly was trying to make herself feel better at a dead woman's expense by saying that she thought Marilyn "looked fabulous," but that she would kill herself if she was that fat.

I just found the great retort to these ill-advised comments: "Most of us would kill ourselves if we were as talent-free as Elizabeth Hurley."

Marilyn's official measurements - 35-22-35, are most certainly not "fat" and Liz Hurley might have 3/4 inches smaller hips, but did not ever have a 22 inch waist. As costumes collected by Debbie Reynolds (also a tiny lady) were auctioned off last year proved, few, if any of the old Hollywood costumes were anything approaching a "size 16" or "fat," and waist measurements ranged from a mind-boggling 18 inches to 23 inches at the largest.

Here is Debbie with the famous Marilyn Monroe Seven Year Itch dress - yep, there's the waist of a total fatty right there, all right. That is all justification for all the massive amount of mis- and dis-information about Marilyn's size, from Liz Hurley idiocy to Roseanne Barr justifying being the size of two Marilyns put together. This dress sold at auction for $4.7 million, by the way.

What is true about Marilyn and the older generation of starlets isn't that they were "bigger" than today; far from it. They were much more petite, as people were in general just as recently as 50 years ago. By the way, there's a controversy as to whether this dress is "the dress" or not.  Hm!

As to the "What size was Marilyn?" controversy, the last word is probably "Marilyn was comfortable with who she was, and we should be, too."

No one is ever "just the fat girl" or "the skinny girl." We are greater than the sum of, or the appearance of, our parts! We should all be so fortunate as to have more than 12 inches of difference between our chest, waist and hip measurements, as Marilyn did. Take that, Liz Hurley, and I wouldn't say anything negative about you in any way, if you hadn't tried to tell lies about Marilyn (a 22 inch waist categorically cannot be "fat" - nor are Marilyn's hips "huge").

Shopping!!!!!

Giant sale at Loehmann's today. To Gambit's great distress, I had to try EVERYTHING on.

Bird by Guess.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Green Dragon.

Yes got haircut, was getting so long - DISGUSTING!

 

New author photo too . . . 2nd collection, I think I will call Female Sci Fi Writer.

 

 

 

 

At 50 You Really Get the Face You Deserve

I'll be hitting the Hawaii number in March (50), so I figured it's time to revisit the ancient wisdom of - if you're a woman and 50, it's time to hang it up, rent the walker, invest in blue hair dye and put a rocker on the porch. Extra points if you get more than one cat and a corncob pipe.

There's probably something wrong with someone my age who shops at Urban Outfitters, Forever 21 and Loehmann's (I do Target too, but they're getting awfully clone-ey lately and prices never good for the quality - i.e. not so good). Also, T.J. Maxx is coming up there - their buyers are getting very competitive with Loehmanns, especially for jeans and certain casual lines.

So, because the President turned 50 earlier this year, there were a rash of articles about "the new face of 50." Also - I guess I get to be a junior AARP member. Thanks, but no thanks . . .

This picture of President Obama appeared in the NY Times article on this topic. The article covered all the physical signs of aging and the reasons for them. It offered the wisdom that "black don't crack" and discussed various age-related complaints of white people.

Now, I will be the first to state that it's true - "black don't crack." Black people do look younger longer than people with lighter skin on average, and it is due to melanin in the skin which protects from sun damage. 

But how does one explain that, while the "black don't crack" article refers to white people looking every one of their years and then-some, and hard-living, too - and then . . .

I took that picture yesterday, it is completely unretouched on the automatic setting of my webcam. I did dye my hair Friday (it turned out the same color as my jacket) but not to cover gray. I have a small amount of gray hair, and it's visible on my right temple as a light streak.

If you look at my eyelids, this is a sign of age. Eyelids will droop and fold. I noticed this a couple of years ago. I have very insignificant lines around the corners of my eyes, and I have "bags" under my eyes in this photo that I can easily get rid of through proper eating. I've been eating holiday foods and some have a small amount of dairy. Instant eye bags. I did not smooth or photoshop anything on my face. Anyone who knows me knows my teeth are crooked, and that in particular, my lower right incisor is off-line, so that's why my lower lip is slightly uneven. I also have a scar under my lip that no one notices. It is actually a big scar but it mimics the shape of my lip - I've had it since I was 7 years old and bit through my lip falling off the monkey bars.

 

Now, another untouched photo. I have on no makeup, but I will say that I follow the same skin care regimen morning and night. I do not deviate. I use simple products, I always cleanse, I always exfoliate, and I always make sure my pores are clean. In these pictures, I am wearing only a small amount of mascara, no eyeshadow, and a small amount of lip gloss. I always use brow gel. But it's clear. I have never plucked my eyebrows.

Now, you tell me - regarding cosmetic surgery (NONE) - what are these young girls, of any race, doing getting nose jobs? Love the nose you have! Work it!

 

 

That's MY Kind of Fashion (not)

It's not fake.  It's real goat fur, and you can get one of the LAST TWO for only $277.20 at ShopBop.

How innocent, how naive I was!

I thought that fashion designers were going through a phase of actually making attractive, flattering, wearable clothing.

Yeah.  Like a gigantic goat fur skirt.

Or these "special" shorts.  I made fun of my own writing by calling it "special" as in "special ed."  I think this fully-qualifies as special-ed fashion - except that would be a total insult to the real special-ed kids out there who could all design 1,000 times better SHORTS!

           So, this is the front - accentuating every woman's "favorite" attributes - hips, thighs, etc.  

But . . . in case you wondered about the back - here's a notice to everyone out there if they don't already know - if it makes the MODEL look horrible, it won't look "better" on you.                                                                             

Nightmare.    

 

And these lovely items came in full-length and attractive calf-length. In case you thought you were a . . . calf?

Actually, shopping the designer sample sale where a rather "horsey" individual seemed to think I should go next door to Marshall's for the "large sizes" (I estimate she actually was a size 8 - she was about 5'10" so Ms. "Thin" and I were the same size) I did see some stuff that surprised me, and sure enough, it's not a one-off designer whimsy, leather and suede really are in for Spring.  Like - leather blouses and suede shorts.

Now, I saw a lot of leather items that were probably "don't buy that" stuff (like leather shorts - come on!).

But I couldn't miss this special item. For designer ready-to-wear, it's a steal at only $225 - the "Adam" Poplin Henley shirt.

Now, this is style.  I was so impressed by this style that I decided to see what type of designer ADAM is.  Adam Lippes!  Now, designers taking inspiration from regular street clothing is nothing new.  Entire lines, like Ralph Lauren, are dedicated to classic, impeccably-styled versions of "ordinary" non-designer clothes worn by ordinary people.  In fact, these clothes are basically . . . clothes worn by ordinary people.  Now, you can order Adam's signature "basics" for $60 to $80 per piece (white t-shirts, henleys, wifebeaters, etc.) or you can go to WalMart and get a 5-pack of said items for $15.

Now, I am not surprised to learn that pretty ultracute Adam himself did start at Ralph Lauren (what a dumb fashion bunny I am!  How did I guess!  In advance never having heard of him before!).

But . . . Adam, designing for real women, I simply have to share one thing:  first, only some retard is going to pay $55 for a "slim wifebeater" when you can seriously get boatloads of them at WalMart for $3 each, slightly nicer ones at Tar-get (Tar-je) for $5 each, and a truly mad variety of all sorts of them at virtually any other store in Southern California - from Forever 21 to H & M to Zara to . . . uh . . . if you're slim, you can even go to Abercrombie and get some real skimpy stuff.  Or you can go to Urban Outfitters and get the ones that are raveling in my drawer right now . . .

But for this "classic" Henley look, Adam?  I knew right where to find that.  So do all the 4.5 million dental assistants, medical assistants, medical records clerks, and nurses in America.

This little item comes in a rainbow of colors, and even has a little tailoring, and pockets for your needed on-the-job items.  $14.99 at Uniform Advantage . . .

Yeah, a $225 scrub shirt . . . now, that's . . . fashion.  On crack!

New Fav Leggings: Degaine Skinny Motorcycle Leggings

Mostly known as the ultrahot maker of Jennifer Aniston's awesome bootcut jeans, Degaine also makes amazing skinny leggings.

Size 30 Degaine Skinny Motorcycle Leggings: best evarr!  Snagged for ultralow price at monster Loehmann's South Coast Plaza.  That's right, the garish Back Room designer samples were far outweighed by the jean sales rack.  Ultra cute, ultra comfy . . . these are my new faves.

Degaine is another locally-run company based in Los Angeles, showcasing the design talent of Gregory Abbou.  

According to their website, "Dégaine: [degεn]: This French slang word appeared in Paris in the late 80’s to define a certain style or for someone with style. Ex: You have a cool Degaine today.

Being Dégaine is to create an attitude that stands out of ordinary Fashion. It is the translation of your personality into a dress code that will surf the waves of modern trends.

Dégaine is the pursuit of self-expression, a way of life, a philosophy… for confident people only."

Haw!  No doubt!

Shopping: Groupon and Blank Jeans

I have been a Groupon member for ages now, and was a little put off when I saw that they were going to be bought by Google.  But . . . that hasn't happened yet!  If it does, I really hope that Google won't mess with the Groupon style, which is light, interesting and often hilarious!

This morning, they were selling a $10 for $20 Groupon for The Candy Chef in Alhambra.  The first sentence almost made me want to buy it even though I don't need a candy bouquet . . .

"Like most branches of the government, candy bars are rich, often split in two, and contain a few nuts that may or may not be covered in goop."

Hilarious!

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Friday's Loehmann's find (on the 40% off rack + 25% coupon and 10% Insider Gold Club discount) was Blank Skinny jeans in a size (cough cough) 30 that almost exactly duplicate a favored pair from the 80's that was about the same size and fit.

The jeans I got are this style, but a much lighter gray wash.  Total 80's.

A feature of Blank Jeans is that they all have red zippers or red zip flies.

I decided to go for the designer jeans because I suddenly became able to stylishly wear a pair of Whitley Kros jeans that I'd bought almost 2 years ago . . . then later discovered that the cute WK white button and white tag on the rear was the LA-based brand worn by celebrities, Whitley Kros.

Also these new Blank Jeans were discounted to a ludicrously-low price . . .

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Boot-O-Rama.  I've been really into boots lately, while following my new dictum that for every new pair of shoes or pants I get, I will donate or dispose of 2 . . .

A standard boot calf for women is now 15 inches, which should accommodate most calves of women within a normal size/weight range.  However, I've been really into ankle boots, which I guess I like because you can wear them with both pants and skirts.

I bought these guys in "Wine" color at another (cough) discount store.  The Loehmann's competitor is often horrible, but every once in a while, you can hit some awesome brands there . . .

OK, these are "Jessica Simpson" brand shoes.  In an ordinary world, I'd rather die than wear a "Jessica Simpson" brand shoe.  In fact, when her line started, I thought they were the cheapest-looking things ever - seemed to me they were ultra high-heel patent leather platform pumps exclusively.  But her line has totally branched out and there are some really great-quality looks, styles and shoes . . . case in point, these wine-colored "Minas" ankle boots, which get me several complements from all ages and types of people every time I wear them.  They're also a perfect match for my new "suit," which is my wine-colored Adrienne Vittidini skirt, long, straight Russian wool gabardine coat that's at least 10 years old, and some type of textured tight.

 

Abdul Poked You on Facebook

As the quintessential Facebook hoarder (first Farmville, now friends - or was it the other way around?), I find myself very selective in how I handle the service.  My model for FB is Nan Holder, one of my absolutest favorite-est people.  Or when I grow up, I wish I would be Nancy, but it's far more likely that I'll be . . .

Yes, I heard that Melissa Rivers finally laid down the law to her mother and demanded - no more plastic surgery!

By the way, there is a monstrously-large Nordstrom Rack at the Laguna Hills Mall and I got 4 amazing items yesterday for less than $75, including a tailored Faconnable shirt, another XCVI shirt, a formerly $500 jacket from a maker I hadn't known before (looking into them, cool jacket) and . . . another Etienne Aigner belt that was only at the reduced Nordstrom Rack price, not actually on sale.  The other 3 items were 60% to 75% off their already marked-down prices.  I hesitate to say that I paid a WalMart price for the XCVI top . . . but I like, did ($6.99).

Oops!  Back to Abdul poked me on Facebook.  He did!  

I've been hearing from some of my writing friends lately that they are frustrated with the writers who will "friend" everyone on FB only to send out "Be a Fan of!" messages or "Like . . .[my book]" messages.  Well, I'll just share that I never openly expressed it before, but, yeah.  I stopped "liking" and "friending" fan pages a while back. It impresses me dis-favorably when I am spammed by someone who clearly is only about promoting what they have for sale.  Of course, Facebook itself is a very emotional topic.

I do follow some marketing information, mostly for my "other" job (nonprofit fundraising).  And the marketing world oddly seems both behind and in-front of various trends.  There have been concerns for some time that Facebook isn't meeting the needs of "Millennials," which would I guess be people my students' age, or Meredith and Anthony's ages. By this, the marketers mean that younger people have figured out that since many people can see their embarrassing photos and statements, this could make it tough for them to get jobs IRL.

Here's my opinion:  FB in many ways is just like the real world.  In the real world, if someone talks only about themselves and never acknowledges others, that person is seldom very popular.  In real life, if a person has come for dinner and is constantly bleating the same statement over and over, they tend to, gee, what did my grandmother say?  Oh - wear out their welcome.  

However, in real life, Abdul doesn't poke me.  Abdul can only poke me on Facebook.  I think that might be a reason to keep using FB . . . or not!

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Health tip of the day:  give up extras in your beverages, including milk, cream, "creamer" (guh!), sugar or any type of artificial sweetener.  If you drink soda - substitute water.  You'll be surprised at losing at least "bloat," and will also feel more energy throughout the day.