incipit vita nova

Beast of Gevaudan - A Hyena?

First off, hats off to Wikipedia for a great English-language Bete d'Gevaudan article.  After previously reading the reliable (not) "cryptid" information that the 18th century French "Beast of Gevaudan" attacks were potentially caused by miraculously late-surviving Eocene predators called mesonychids, such as Andrewsarchus, I featured this in July. I learned about the "Beast" after reading about wolf attacks as part of research for "To Love the Difficult," which will be in Panverse 2.  The story is science fiction, by the way, although "wolf attack" might sound like fantasy.

Second, I'm getting all this incoming "Beast of Gevaudan" because of the History Channel MonsterQuest show about the "Beast of Gevaudan."

So . . . here is a WikiCommons picture of a happy tourist with a locally (Gevaudan, France) created sculpture of the beast.

Recognizing that there must be some type of show on about the "Beast," I was quick to TiVo the show and watched much of it last night.  It featured a "cryptozoologist" and a retired police detective (homicide), I believe.  The previous MonsterQuest I watched and liked was the undying classic "Hogzilla."  Who wouldn't watch that?  Hogzilla was probably somebody's former hog, grown way out of proportion and way fugly-hogly.

Anyway, together these two came up with the theory that the Beast was in fact, a two-part monster.  The animal part was somebody's exotic pet hyena, somehow trained by the person who historically has been said to have shot the Beast to death with a silver bullet, Jean Chastel.  They actually went to a zoological museum somewhere in France (Paris?) and saw stuffed animals from the period, among which were hyenas, which the curator said were basically hybrids and taxidermological fix-ups of several animals in one specimen.  He seemed quite willing to say that the Beast was a hyena and showed them several choices, including a long-haired one that looked pretty nasty.  They then spent 10 minutes showing how real hyenas crush and eat big bones and pointed up their general viciousness. 

So guess what?  Amy has a lousy working knowledge of several languages, which means, she can read the French Wikipedia article and compare it to the English version.  First of all, the English Wikipedia states that the several beasts (more than one) were wolflike upon being shot and killed, and were thought by most at the time to be wolf-dog hybrids.  How big were they?  Hmn.  The French Wiki says the animals that were killed, including the official Gevaudan Chastel-shot beast, were 140 and 110 pounds - really big for wolves. 

Interestingly, the French Wiki also quotes Simon de Ballainvilliers, the superintendent of the province of Auvergne, where Gevaudan was located (I don't think it is a currently-used jurisdiction).  M. Ballainvilliers wrote in his report, "Jean Chastel, a native, killed an animal which appeared to be a wolf, but a wolf extraordinary and quite different by his figure and his proportions from the wolves that one sees in this country."  This fits - big wolf-dog hybrid.  And, if one believes the curator of the museum where the hyenas were located, the hyena was well-known at the time, and there were exotic specimens brought in by various members of the nobility.  He had the preserved, stuffed trophies to prove it.  So, certainly m. Ballainvilliers would have known if the deceased beast was L'Hyenne - or a hyena.  Religious figures at the time called the beast (in langue d'oc - "animal") a "plague" sent by God.  But they, like, hadn't seen it.  The first formal suggestion that the Beast was a hyena seems to have appeared in an 1819 booklet that also suggested several other exotic, or even extinct, animals.  The official contemporary description of the beasts that were killed was "wolves," which we all know to be "loup," eh?  Yes, "loup-garou" otherwise known as French-Canadian werewolf.  That said, guess what else the French Wiki points up?  No remains of the killed "wolves" or "betes" were kept.  So, no, the hyena didn't have parts of the Beast.  It was just a stuffed hyena.  Abel Chevalley and Henri Pourrat are identified in the French Wiki as the originator of the theory that the Beast was an exotic animal that was trained by a person, and that the trainer was either Chastel (fingered in the MonsterQuest show) or Francois-Charles Morangies, the noble who employed Chastel and who supposedly had the deadly menagerie to begin with.  The silver bullet, and the hyena, appear to have both been added later on.

There is no way to know if Chastel did train a wolf-dog hybrid, but he probably did not train a hyena.  He also probably didn't use a silver bullet at all - something that was included in later fictionalizations, not in contemporary accounts.  The beast also popped up many places, and over the course of almost 100 years, yet descriptions did vary, and at least two wolflike animals were killed, one very large, the other pretty darned good-sized.  As someone who has seen coyote-dog hybrids and can attest to their substantial size (80-100 pounds), a wolf hybrid would look unusual, be large, and this is what these were.  Several wolves, the product of several different large domestic dog, and wolf matings in this area.  Let this be a warning:  don't unquestioningly believe what you see on Monster Quest.  None of them can speak or read a lick of French.

The Voice That Killed Sci Fi As We Knew It

Don't get me wrong.  Science fiction isn't dead.  It's alive and well, and Michael Bay, J.J. Abrams, and many others not quite in their stratosphere are entertaining hundreds of thousands, and often, hundreds of millions worldwide.

Written science fiction as was practiced by, say, Robert A. Heinlein?  So embarrassingly dead it's almost not worth mentioning. 

Did this happen because people aren't interested in sfnal concepts any more?  Hardly.  They're so interested that Optimus Prime is a household name and this week's episode of Numbers could have been written by Amy Casil on a bad, hungover day.  I have to say that Bumblebee is my favorite though, even though he doesn't every get any lines (I think it's because he doesn't talk).

What could have caused such a thing?  How could what were "fringe" ideas only 20 years ago be so inextricably woven in the fabric of our lives that half the TV lineup and more than a third of movies are basically sci fi?  At the same time, the few books of science fiction still published with that label on it sell in numbers that make self-publishing look like a viable alternative.  More than 95% of the current Amazon "science fiction and fantasy" top 100 books are about vampires, werewolves, fairies or fae.

It has been forgotten, among the small group that still publishes written sci fi for adults, that people generally want to be entertained by what they read.  They want to feel engagement, they want to be able to follow a story, and most of all, they want excitement, reward, and that all-important "sense of wonder."

Take for example, the simple, crass, commercial idea that a decent, semi-cool kid's first car is in fact, an ultra-sophisticated alien-created metal-organic living hybrid, engaged in interplanetary warfare for the fate of the universe.  Take the other crass, simplistic idea that a rich second-generation arms manufacturer and mechanical genius suffers an epiphany of life after almost losing his, that makes him create the gnarliest exo-fighting suit ever known, thus becoming Iron Man.  It helps if you cast Robert Downey, Jr.

The more confused and screwed up our world becomes, the more appealing hero vs. villain stories become.  The more imaginative and inventive the landscape in which the hero and villain contend, the greater the entertainment.

At the same time, all the Usual Suspects were, for decades, publishing opaque work of uncertain provenance, and while many things had literary merit, there were few with simple, comprehensible ideas, relatable characters and comprehensible conflicts like the two I just mentioned.  Transformers started out as toys, and Iron Man comes from the Marvel factory, which knows that which it makes and why people like it.  At best, print fiction sci fi stories in the past two decades were told well, by writers of skill and craft.  At worst?  F'an't's'y and S'C1-F1.  In the past ten years?  I cannot count on the fingers of one hand a written science fiction book for adults that I found compelling.  I can name a number with excruciating characters, bizarre premises, and especially bad voice - bad, bad, bad, bad, bad voice.  There's a peculiar sort of tonedeaf sci fi voice sung with chalkboard scratch "wrong" notes, and then there's a separate, cheap tonedeaf knockoff of noir film narration that I think got its start during the "cyberpunk" years.  That one won't die, and I think over time, it has been a very big nail in adult-oriented written science fiction with that label on it. Now, this flies in the face of "above the title" fiction that's plenty sci fi - from Michael Chabon's humane, well-written books to The Road by Cormac McCarthy to J.D. Robb's futuristic detective series about Eve Dallas.  It was picking up J.D. Robb's books that indicated powerfully to me that sci fi as in "stories about the future" or "stories featuring technology that's not quite here yet" was anything but dead.  J.D./Nora Roberts' stories feature things that we know well from TV and film, and somewhat from predictive news articles and magazines.  They're suspenseful thriller/crime stories about a strong heroine with a lot of personal baggage.  If anything, they're a little Blade Runner-ish, and there's no "new" sci fi in them at all.  Meanwhile, this bothers her legions of readers not one bit, and I am sure it isn't bothering her a bit either.

The reason these books are successful is that their authors know how to tell stories.  They know what a story is.  For at least ten years, and more like 20 to 25, the great majority of sci fi writers I've run across wouldn't know a good story if it smacked them in the face, and that's not the problem, really.  The problem is that the people who were charged with buying and offering the material to the public didn't know, either.  They knew so little, and were so fixated on their single-minded involvement in the hermetic, endless sci fi community "debates," that they let the bad "voice" creep in.  They promoted "the voice" as good, gave awards to it, and through the combination of low pay, poor treatment and social cooties-by-association drove off anybody with any sense of storytelling, talent or gift.

Here's an opening line for you.  It's current.

Sidibé Traoré ended up as Earth’s diplomatic representative because she was an astronaut who loved to pop the blisters on a sheet of bubble wrap.

Maybe some of the bad voice could be derived from a grave misunderstanding of a few of Cordwainer Smith's stories.  A legitimate cold warrior, he wrote with peculiar grace and understood innately the strange stories he told and how to communicate them.  So, the opening of "Game of Rat and Dragon."

Pinlighting is a hell of a way to earn a living. Underhill was furious as he closed the door behind himself. It didn't make much sense to wear a uniform and look like a soldier if people didn't appreciate what you did.

The problem with the bad voice is rooted in rhetoric.  First, in order to say anything of worth, a point needs to be clearly understood before it is made.  Then, after the point or purpose is clear, in telling the story, writers need to remember that people best understand new things presented one at a time.  Today's successful film and TV sci fi is capitalizing on years of familiarity with what once was unusual and new.  Meanwhile, written sci fi continued down a path toward an uncertain destination and along the way, it seems to have lost its way.  And the gravest failing is the ideas, which are increasingly incoherent, and the writing, which veers too often into the clumsy, incoherent, uncertain bad voice.  The borrowed voice; the bad, bad, bad multi-copied and translated file with every third word substituted, every name just off (and often, not just a little "off" - majorly off), and worst of all - nothing of import happening. 

As I said in a slightly different venue, it's the bad voice that killed sci fi.  The subject matter that drove sci fi into the ground, and that meant that there is no appreciable new adult sci fi right now - for a very good and understandable reason.  It's the voice of an angry nerd with no life and no heart who screamed what he thought was a story at the world until they finally turned his channel off.

How to Do Cleopatra Makeup

I "learned" how to apply makeup in my early years when receiving modeling and "charm" education.  At this time, I also learned how to sit, stand, and walk down stairs properly.  I had the distinct honor of being the only girl in the group of young teens to be told that I did not need to pluck my eyebrows, merely groom them.  As a result, I never have, and thus have not yet experienced the "no brow" problem many of us have when growing older.

Just watch.  Tomorrow half of one will fall out and the other will turn white.

Anyway, I invested a few hours in figuring out how to do Elizabeth Taylor as Cleopatra Makeup for my enlightening, unusual, and strange time being "her" and learning to my distress that blondes did have more "fun" if fun is categorized as being treated with good humor and not being poked and pawed.

This is the guideline photo that I used.  It should go without saying that much more vivid, darker and brilliant colors are used than most people would have in their ordinary makeup palettes.  If you're going to do this for Halloween, you should use real makeup, and there are so many choices today.  HIP or "high intensity pigments" are good over the counter choices; obviously MAC has many dark, vivid choices as well - it seems to me that's a whole line that looks best on darker-skinned complexions, and says "Klown" on blondes.

But I am blonde, and with care, went Elizabeth Taylor - a wig and false eyelashes are required.  Start your eye makeup after applying moisturizer, foundation prep, and foundation to the entire face and neck.  You can complete your cheeks and lips after the eyes - the most difficult part.

The first challenge is the brows.  Look carefully at the picture.  The peak of the brow arch is not directly over the pupil of her eyes, it is actually at the outer edge of each iris.  So, if your brows do not naturally follow this shape, your first task is to find that point on your browbone, and mark it with a dark brow pencil.  Depending on how thick your brows are, you are going to need to either carefully increase the width, using a brow pencil and a brush, or decrease the width.  The next step is to delineate the inner corner of each brow at the desired width.  In her case, this is slanted slightly toward the bridge of the nose, but the actual starting point of each brow is directly above the inner corner of each of her eyes.  Pencil in the color in the desired areas to create the shape with a brow pencil, then brush for a more natural look.  Let this rest - you will complete and finish the look after you apply eyeshadow, liner, and mascara and/or the false eyelashes.

If you are wearing false eyelashes, those are usually applied first.  In this case, I don't think la Liz used false lashes - her own were very long and thick, and there's definitely no lower false eyelash deck on there.  If you do have long, thick lashes, curl them first, then begin to apply shadow.

First, apply a soft, skin-toned pearl shadow over the entire lid.  Then, apply the lid color.  Be brave.  It extends about 1/16 to 1/4 of an inch beyond the outer corner of each eye, into the crease of the eye, and it should be blended well into the pearl shadow which remains on the brow area.  In this photo, it looks as though she also has a charcoal-colored shadow lightly applied in the crease of the eye, extending out and blending into the dark lid color.  With either the charcoal or lid color, extend the shadow on each eye above the inner lid and upward beside the bridge of the nose and blend carefully.  If you get makeup on your nose - wipe it off - that's not part of the look <G>.  As to colors, I used similar colors to those that she used, because my eyes are about the same color as hers.  If you have brown, hazel or black eyes, use your best, deep contrasting colors.  I know that blue brings out brown eyes, but do NOT use "electric" blue, but rather a soft, navy blue, and a soft brow highlighting (the "overall" lid color) that matches your skin tone.  These are not clashing clown eyes, they are very sophisticated painted eyes. As to tools, I used two of my sable watercolor brushes.  Similar soft, good brushes are now sold at all good makeup stores such as Sephora and Ulta.  Don't ever skimp on this type of brush.  You can't obtain any decent look with cheap, stiff brushes.

People might disagree with me, but I think that the elaborate eyeliner was achieved with black cake eyeliner and a sable brush.  Today there are numerous liquid waterproof eyeliners in a billion dark colors. If you look carefully, Elizabeth's liner is definitely cake eyeliner carefully applied with a fine brush and then "fixed."  Depending on your foundation, skin type, and foundation primer used, this will probably be the best method.  The problem with liquid eyeliners is that their brushes are made of synthetics, usually a little stiff, and are difficult to control, unlike a real sable brush (an artist's - or a fine makeup brush).  I also have used Maybelline liquid eyeliner - the basic type, that goes with the basic pink-tube Maybelline mascara.  Your liner, and mascara, for this look are black - do not use other or "shiny" colors for this look, which will reduce the drama and impact.  You can use "soft black" if you have fairer skin like me.  Part of the lining can be done with a waterproof, soft eyeliner pencil, as this is thick eyelining, and you can refine with the liquid.  The key with the lining is the same as with mascara - several light, delicate coats are much better than one thick, heavy one.  You can carefully refine the lines and shapes to follow the exotic lines.  The liner extends all the way to the temple on both sides, ending at the exact point that the brows end.

After you have completed the liner, apply mascara (on your bottom lashes at the least - and if you're blonde, you know to apply on the top too with false eyelashes, right?  Because when you open your eyes, the light lashes will show under the dark false lashes unless you blend, etc.).  I did an all-mascara look - which is about 3 thin coats of high-quality (i.e. Maybelline - don't laugh - nearly everyone knows that truly is the best mascara) water-resistant mascara.  The problem with water-proof is not just that it is difficult to remove, it also tends to cake more, which looks hideous.  And - it can also help to do each eye slowly using the best lighting and a 10X magnifying mirror.  

Then, complete your cheek color.  This picture shows only a light, delicate peach blush on the cheeks, applied to the hollows of the cheeks, brushed lightly onto the temples, and slightly over the "apples" of the cheeks.  Blend thoroughly.

Now it is time to complete the brows.  I used to use Max Factor "Brow Tamer," which is no longer available.  I know that Elizabeth Taylor herself uses and recommends brow gel.  A substitute can be hairspray, sprayed onto a brow brush (the stiff type).  Any clear mascara also doubles as "brow tamer."  There are numerous brow products out now, and I have used some - but they tend to be clumpy and bumpy and you are looking for perfection, not brow clump.  Use your fingers to make sure your brows are even and are producing the shape and line that you want above your eyes.  Do not be afraid to go dark, and as you complete your brows, check and match carefully with the eye makeup and liner.  This is an exotic, extreme, but balanced look.

After this is dry, then complete your look by finishing your lips.  La Liz's lips in every Cleopatra picture are a gorgeous, soft peach.  They are beautifully done, but meant to balance her face and not compete with the dramatic eyes.  In my case, I had to "create" an upper lip matching the heart-bow shape of hers.  I had to be careful, because nothing looks worse than a clumsy "created" lip.  Again, there are so many lip choices today that were not available back in the Cleopatra filming days.  I can tell that she is wearing some pretty advanced stuff for the time - average women had lovely choices ranging from fire engine red, to brick red, to pink, maybe "salmon," and the old standby:  red.  And then some red.  And some more greasy red.

Carefully, with a good, soft nude colored lip pencil, outline the even lip shape slightly outside your natural lip line.  You can see where this is drawn in the photo, especially on the outer corners of her lips.  This is the same technique used today for "fuller" lips."  If your lips are not so full, don't go overboard, just do what looks natural for you.  You can try a lip plumper if you can stand it, and if your gentleman doesn't hate your guts for it (they sting - I haven't used one for a while and maybe they don't any more).  Also, don't forget, most guys also hate sticky lipgloss - and La Liz is wearing a touch of gloss, but I bet it isn't the sticky type.  Fill in your lips with a peach-pink-toned lipstick with a touch of shimmer.  These are not matte lips.  Fix the lipstick with powder, then reapply, then top off with shiny gloss.

Stick your wig on your head, or do your hairstyle if you have black hair!  You are Cleopatra!  

LolCat #3: Just In Timez 4 Halloween

Look what Oliver did to Taz!!

LolCat #2 and Reese's 4 Halloween

Oliver did this the other day, and the picture came out pretty well, so here is Lolcat #2. Look at how long he is! I thought it was hilarious how he stretched his body out, and I couldn't get head-to-to in the whole picture.

It's also that time of the year again . . . everyone's favorite holiday!

Christmas? No.

Thanksgiving? No.

Arbor Day?  Uh - no.

It's Halloween!  I'm not dressing up this year (boo hoo) and part of the reason is Halloween candy.

I bought two small bags of candy a couple of weeks ago.  The Halloween candy basically comes out over Labor Day weekend. I always wondered who would buy their candy that early. I think I've finally come to the conclusion that it's people who tell themselves they are stocking up for Halloween, but who are actually eating it in advance.  Therefore they have to go back and buy more in order to satisfy the trick-or-treaters.

But of course for the money- and waistline-wise out there, they've got TOO MUCH candy and need recipe help for all those leftovers.  Therefore this food website is available to help everybody out with recipes for such treats as caramel apples, candy pizza and peppermint patty brownies. 

Caramel apples with your leftovers?  Right.  First of all, what cheapskates give caramels for Halloween?  Second, who's going to gather up enough to make caramel apples? It takes a whole bag melted down to make 5 apples, according to the average recipe.  And, take it from me - it's really hard to make a realistic caramel onion.

Anyway, Halloween is the time of year when the ghouls come out, the witches cackle, and the candy's everywhere.

So, here you have the modest candy outlay at the Casil house.  I thought I had bought a 6-pack of Reese's bats.  No, these are Reese's pumpkins, which are just as good - maybe better.

I purposely unwrapped the pumpkin to showcase its glossy chocolate sheen.

Mmmm.  If you like regular peanut butter Reese's cups, you will LOVE the pumpkins. Candy Blog has a review of the eggs, which are very similar to the pumpkins - and to the bats, which started as a Batman Dark Knight tie-in, believe it or not. You will note that there are the uneaten "Minis" in the bowl, and that only Milky Way and 3 Musketeers are left.  That's right, someone (whom?) ate all the Snickers Minis.  Now, if you do go visit Candy Blog, there's a bit of controversy as to whether or not the eggs are real chocolate, or "mockulate." I truly never knew there was such a thing as "mockulate" until reading the Candy Blog.  Now?  I fear that it is everywhere.  And it might be wise to stock up on Reese's this Halloween, because there are rumblings over at Candy Blog that the quality is about to be lowered, and that the words "milk chocolate" have . . . disappeared from the label. If that's not horror, I don't know what is.  I cant haz choklat?

Bad Fairground Art: Brilliant!

I thought I'd use a UK superlative, because you can practically hear the accent as you read the commentary at Bad Fairground Art.

I know I swore I'd never link in any way to a Blogspot blog, but I think this chap deserves a nod.  I'm not copying the best picture over.  You should go to his blog and look at everything.  It's . . . real special.

Amazing, huh?  Wait until you see the others.  They belong in the Museum of Bad Art, but they're at fairs!  Six gherkins for the price of five, anyone?  Gewurz (spicy) or mit salz?  Ja, ich gewurz das gerken!

Bored? Life Lacking in Meaning and Purpose? Try Panverse!

The first all-novella book from Panverse Publishing is now available.  

 Edited by Dario Ciriello, Panverse One (this is according to Dario) "exists to deliver story and sense of wonder in equal measure; to publish great genre fiction which is accessible to the non-genre reader; and to wrap the whole in a beautifully-produced volume with first-rate cover art at a fair price."

Since one of MY stories will be in Panverse Two, what I have to say about this is, Dario's aims certainly came true with Panverse ONE.  Those who wish to destroy their eyes, sense of balance or who have been told to refrain from taking artificial sleep aids might want to wait to buy Panverse TWO when it comes out.  If you like the wonderful aims Dario sets forth above: it's got to be Panverse One, which is on sale right now.  Authors featured are Jason K. Chapman, Reggie Lutz, Uncle River, Alan Smale, and Andrew Tisbert.

The original purpose of the Panverse anthologies was to provide an outlet for longer stories, that were still shorter than a full novel.  The "novella" length has been a difficult one for writers for some time.  Too short to be put in a full-length book, yet too long to be published in most traditional short fiction venues.  I first wrote a novella "just to see if I could," while sitting next to the pool when I used to live in San Dimas.  I actually did sell that story, "Shakespeare in Hell," and it's now available via Fictionwise or at Book View Cafe.  Dario was most kind to tolerate my efforts at this length a second time around.  

Actually, what I found about this length is that - it's a really good match for a film, in terms of story content, character and events and theme.

Is NCIS The Worst Television Show Ever? (No.)

Back when Meredith was attending Redlands Christian School, and 2-3 of the Harry Potter books had come out, I questioned another parent in the hallway about the series.  "No!" she thundered.  "I've NEVER read anything like that, and we WON'T have something like THAT in our house."  I asked a few more questions, and she allowed that her family basically didn't read any fiction whatsoever.  "We only read The Bible," she said.

O-Kay.  So much for those kids' assignments in school  . . . No Lassie, no Black Beauty, and for heaven's sake - no Cinderella.  What about that wand, the pumpkin, and the mice?

Which brings me to this recent assault on NCIS, which is one of MY favorite shows, and I not only have family in the Navy, I have family who've previously served in the USN, good friends who are former Marines, and my most-greatly-loved cousin is serving in Afghanistan RIGHT NOW.  And I am also a Bible-believing Christian.

So with authority, I can say that on every count, the columnist Stephenson Billings for "Christ Wire" is bonkers.  How did I find this assault?  By somebody coming to my blog - because I said NCIS Los Angeles was a pretty bad show, and not nearly so good as the original NCIS.  My comments were based on story quality and show quality - not whatever anti-religious, anti-American straw man this Billings sets up.

I don't know what show he is describing, but it's not the NCIS I know and love.  Worst of all?  He's really got it in for Mark Harmon.

 There's my guy! 

First things first, according to Billings, "This show is misleading, derogatory, anti-American, counterproductive and sets a bad example for our youth."

Uh.

Misleading, maybe, because the real NCIS agents certainly do not have an HQ like the one depicted on the show.  Probably, there weren't any Israeli exchange officers, like Ziva - but maybe there were.  Probably the real forensic scientists don't look or act like Abby.  Certainly the cases the agents work on aren't neatly wrapped up at the end of every "episode" - except NCIS does not "always get its man."

Derogatory - toward whom?  Criminals?  Terrorists?  Troubled law enforcement from other agencies?  A little bit derogatory toward government bureaucrats?  Sometimes?  This show is absolutely not derogatory toward the service - Naval and Marine.  It always emphasizes respect for the Corps or the Navy.  People's duties and roles in the service, as currently-serving, retired, or deceased in the line of duty, frequently are the center of the show's plots. Anti-American?

WT . . . FUDGE? This Billings has it in for Mark Harmon as the show's moral center, Leroy Jethro Gibbs.  I don't care if Billings doesn't like Mark Harmon as an actor or his acting style, but Gibbs is a standup guy.  Gibbs cares about right and wrong, and has a clear moral leadership.  As to Gibbs' backstory, like many in the USMC, USN or other branches of the service, he's been married more than once.  And he likes redheads.  That much I gathered.  Plus, he was young, innocent and awkward once, just like a lot of guys.

Like Mark Harmon, his dad, and the rest of his family, NCIS is a pure red-blooded American show, through and through.    

As to "counterproductive," it's a very highly-rated, popular and productive show.  And as to "setting a bad example for our youth," huh?  I think NCIS is aimed at a slightly older audience than "youth," with its hero as Gibbs, who is in the baby boomer age group, Ducky for those at retirement age, and its younger actors often made fun-of for being "old" when teens are involved in the plot - excepting Abby, of course.

Billings has a problem with the two female agents, "Kate," who was on in earlier episodes, and who lost her life to the terrorist Ari, and Ziva, who is currently on (unless she isn't - I haven't watched so far this season).  Sasha Alexander, who played Kate, left the show for personal reasons, but . . . Billings, you weenie . . . she was a Catholic young woman with high morality!  Ziva is a "larger than life" character, but she brings Israeli ideas and experiences to the American television audience, which is educational, considering most Americans don't have a lot of contact with religious American Jews, much less with Israelis.  Billings thinks both are "unattractive," and says, I'm going to boxquote this extreme sexism:

"These two bellicose women, always ready with a waistband handgun, are not physically enticing. Their aggressive lack of prettiness and their overbearing superiority complexes are huge turnoffs. Is this the sort of girl a man needs beside him? I think not."

As to Sasha Alexander not being physically enticing, there are dozens of photo pages of her on the internet.  As to Cote de Pablo, born in Chile, but raised in Miami, she has even MORE photo pages than Sasha Alexander.  Not to mention, both of them are talented, bright, and don't have to sink to the lowest level to get attention.   

So, I guess what I have to say is, What the Fudge??  If this indeed is the junk that's going out under "Christian" labels, and this really is what the supposed "fundamentalist" community thinks, then I guess they do deserve the bad labels put on them by non-believers or those who politically fear them.  Billings isn't even describing the same show that I watch - none of the plots, none of the stories, and none of the characters.  As a Bible-believing Christian who is a single mother, who works 50-60 hours a week in 3 different capacities, and as someone who sees sexism for what it is - a slap in the face to every decent man out there as well as every decent woman - I'm appalled.  This is ignorant, sick, and insulting.  Anyone familiar with network TV at all can see that NCIS takes care to avoid topics and dialog that would be upsetting to children or more traditional viewers.  This Billings keeps waxing on about how great the Rockford Files was.  Yeah, it was a good show.  And so is NCIS. 

Here's what he says about DiNozzo:

"Overcompensating for his homosexuality by being a lecherous young man. What an example he sets for today’s youth! No one would ever let this oaf be a police agent in real life."

And about DUCKY:

"An overeducated Brit doctor making a meager living as a US military morgue rat? How much more implausible can you get!"

What an ass.

 

 

Photoshop . . . WTF???

It's not like I'm that great at Photoshop.  I do like my Wacom Tablet. Photoshop Disasters is the original - I might say the ONLY blog devoted to horrible, disastrous, or just plain insane Photoshopping. 

Ever since Photoshop became easier and more sophisticated to use, it seems that some have used it as a tool for evil -- or perhaps, have just been asleep at their Wacom tablets.

Here are some highlights.  After I looked a while, I realized that the reason that a lot of this continues unchecked, even with Photoshop Disasters making fun of them, is that the average person probably doesn't notice this type of thing, and if they do, it's just a magazine ad and doesn't really matter.  As to me?  I'm pretty sure they aren't requiring anatomy in art/design school any more.  They can't be.  Evidence below.  You can call these "annotated" Photoshop Disasters.

These first ones are evidence of people who've never seen a real woman's body.  I don't think.  Or maybe these were photoshopped by Dexter, or overly-influenced by Pinocchio as a child.

You do realize that's another leg, don't you?  And that she'd be one of those 3-wheeled tricycle people if this were real.

This is my personal favorite.  The "bonus" is the contortionist hand patting her butt.

 

Then there are those little quick jobs, where . . . hey, no one will notice you just photoshopped him/her . . . the hand!!  the hand!!!  There was never a person there in the first place, was there?

 

Photoshop Disasters didn't really know who Spinal Tap were, because if they had, they might have realized it was within the realm of possibility (barely), that Harry Shearer's hands might have been placed as a joke.

Yeah.  Like "Puppet Show and Spinal Tap."

 

Then we have the "laziness" factor - i.e. "They'll never notice Weird Al's real hand there behind the giant brain hand."

And of course, I've been known for making fun of bad German.  This isn't a contact lens or eye product.  It is help for thalidomide victims.  I only noticed the small "witch" house as I was adding to this special item.

 

This is the cover of a Brazilian women's magazine called "Crescer."  I don't know what KIND of horrible photoshop to call this, but it's something they should not be allowed to do.  I think this child has been not only photoshopped onto the mother's back, but her mouth and eyes have been "enhanced."

And not in a good way.

It's like these child beauty pageant retouching services - only . . . different.  I learned about those from the Photoshop Disasters blog too.

Photoshop:  good or evil?  You decide.

Cheating!!

Your moralist here . . . OK, here's the short answer: cheating (and lying) are wrong.

The University of Virginia has had more than its share of cheating scandals, probably because it uses the "honor system," and when cheating is discovered, penalties are severe - expulsion or loss of degrees conferred while cheating occurred. Time and time again, cheating has been uncovered at the Ivy League colleges.  Entire books and movies have been written about cheating, and the recent film "The Informant" highlighted a book I've already read about Mark Whitacre and his role in the ADM price-fixing investigation - as well as his $multi-million embezzlement from the company - mostly in order to pay off the Nigerians who seem to have made him their most high-profile 419 scam.

But what do you get?  Mark Whitacre may be the subject of a film and more than one book, and has now served his time and is currently working again in the biochemical industry, but I doubt very many people would want to trade lives with him.  The students at UVA who got caught cheating wasted all of their time and parents' money spent on their education - they will all have been fortunate to be able to make a fresh start somewhere else - back at square one.

Even those who cheat and think they're fortunate, smarter than everyone else, and haven't yet been caught will eventually find their habits catching up with them. Would anyone want to trade places with former President Bill Clinton on the day he had to admit he had done something with Monica Lewinsky?  How about John Edwards?  He's got a beautiful little girl . . . that he tried to disown in every way possible!  He was publically exposed, not only for cheating on his wife who was dying of cancer, but for doing the sleaziest possible underhanded things to try to escape scrutiny for the cheating, and the little girl that resulted from it. And what about those devilish Nigerians?  Scammed by their own scam - and humiliatingly so.

Nothing good ever comes from cheating, and the people who think they are so smart by "getting away with it" - well, that never lasts.  Remember, "His name is mud?" which supposedly came from Dr. Samuel Mudd, who helped John Wilkes Booth after he assassinated President Lincoln (maybe not - it was apparently used much earlier).  I'm thinking that there will be some future use for "Madoff" as in - "He Madoff with all their money."