incipit vita nova

Compulsive Hoarding . . . A Creative Impulse?

I first learned about hoarding with coming upon the rescue dogs from Lancaster. These dogs had been rescued by a kitten rescue, but they were in such sad shape that the kitten caretakers were willing to step in, help them recover, and find good homes for them.

Now, as an "overburdened" pet rescuer myself (Taz is showing signs of arthritis - "great"), maybe I need to downsize, which I did do when I moved from Redlands to Playa del Rey.  All my friends know about my clothing "problem."  However, when I moved and donated half to charity, I made a rule that if I bought something new, I would dispose of an old item of the same type.  

So, even more disturbing, our satellite TV has been out since Thursday.  When the guys finally fixed it this evening, the TV was stuck on the Hoarder show!  OMG.

So, I found out about pet hoarding, which can cost animals their lives, and now I watch this show about object hoarding.  After being appalled for a few minutes, I started looking into it.  Hoarding is associated with OCD, and also can be associated with depression.  Here is some web commentary about just one of these disturbing A & E shows.  The author suggests that slapping the hoarders in the face might make a better impression than the "kindly" helpers that the show sends to help them clean up.  I watched one scene where this poor gal was hanging onto a veritable Night of the Living Dead supermarket full of food.  "That's good tofu!" she declared.  It was reminiscent of the abandoned bison meat warehouse.

Most people have heard of the famous Cornell Brothers in NYC, and the Indiana Jones-like adventure retrieving the poor old gents after they expired in their object-stuffed house.  This article discusses them and more recent hoarders.

The best article I found was an essay called "Stuff" by Tyler Gore.  So what if Tyler got an honorable mention in the Year's Best Essays of 1998 for an essay that spells botulism as botchulism?  (Tyler could have used a copy editor, but don't get me started on the "passes" that some guys get in the literary world that most of us females would never even THINK of).  

I really can't think of anything better to understand what this problem is than to read Tyler's essay.  The most hurtful of all - he thinks his father's fatal illness, which caused him and his brother to go in and try to clean his hoard-filled house up (several layers of embedded trash had to be cleared to reach the actual "stuff" on the floor), was something that came from the dust, mold, grime, mites and other hazards created by the hoarding.

Potato-Leek Soup - Yum!

I got a powerful desire to make some type of healthy soup today.  I have lots of different grains and wild rice from Marina Farms.  But today, I sort of got the "leek" feeling upon seeing some nice, fresh leeks at the fruit and vegetable market.

Here is a picture of the beginning of the soup:

Here is the recipe:

2 large leeks, cleaned and sliced fine

1 medium onion, chopped

3 T butter, melted

4 russet potatoes, sliced thin

3 cups chicken or vegetable stock

1 c nonfat milk

sea salt & fresh-ground pepper

Prepare all your vegetable ingredients.  Then, melt the butter in a heavy 5 qt. saucepan and throw in the leeks and onions.  Saute and stir for about 10 minutes, until the onions are completely soft.  Put the sliced potatoes into the pot, and pour in the chicken stock.  Cook over low heat until potatoes are soft.  Mash potatoes into the liquid.  Cook another 10-15 minutes over very low heat, stirring often.  Add salt and pepper to taste, then pour in the 1 cup of milk.  Cook for another few minutes, then eat!

"Crossing the Line"

I'm at the age where females often seek assistance in maintaining their "youth."  I've been astonished to learn that such a great number of my friends and acquaintances have had such assistance - already!  They were just discussing Octomom on the news and Gillian said, "she looks 'done'" and the other girl said, "It's crossing the line."  Crossing the line from "good idea" to - holy handbasket!

OK, so here is "before and after" for Octomom Nadya Suleiman.  What a pretty girl with her own features and hair!  WTF is this on the right?  If you see a picture of her beside Angelina Jolie, whose lips do NOT look like that, and which are natural, it's not even a "Halloween" comparison. I am fairly certain she had cheek implants too, comparing the facial proportions between the two pictures.  As a human outlier with my OWN cheekbones, I really do not "get" that particular facial procedure, unless someone has particularly flat or mis-proportioned cheek bones.

With all these makeover shows - it's one thing for somebody with an extraordinarily large nose to have a "nose job," or for someone who naturally, had a very small or weak chin getting a chin implant (remember Carol Burnett?  She was very open about the work she had done to make her face more appealing for the camera).  It's another to shoot up your lips like this, which occurs on NO human being in nature.  Those lips are freakish and disgusting; i.e. "crossing the line."

And that line is so, so fine.  For every person who is fortunate, and looks "natural," there are in my experience, dozens who have "issues."  Living in So. Cal. and just looking around, I see so many ladies in their 50's (I am NOT there yet) with completely artificial hair, completely "worked-on" faces, and body modifications of all types - NONE of which look "okay."  I used to joke that, living in Woodland Hills, for the first time in my life, "my bra size" was easy to obtain on sale.  Why?  Because of all the BREAST IMPLANTS!  There were probably more breast implants per block there than in any place in the world.  MY bra size occurred when I became pregnant with Meredith, thus inspiring one of my favorite presents ever - when Peggy Beaver gave me "Amy's Ruler" (still have) and a copy of the Weekly World News with "Woman's breasts grow to 99 GGG overnight!" 

Like everybody else, I love love love "So You Think You Can Dance?"  It has been many years since I was a dancer (WORST dance teacher ever - thank you very much!), but I guess all those years of ballet, jazz, tap and contemporary did sink in, in some manner.  To me, there is no one more attractive than any dancer, of any type, of any size or shape.  The act of dancing connects one's body and spirit in a way that will make you forever "easy" in your own skin, as long as you maintain basic respect for yourself, and good health.  I don't know, but suspect, that this is also connected to some of our religious or spiritual traditions that emphasize respect and caring for one's body, but also teach that "what's on the outside is not as important as what's on the inside."  I can't believe how emotional "So You Think You Can Dance?" is (well, yes I can).  I often tell people, "artists are the most awesome people you can ever know and hang out with."  There's just a mentality of acceptance and creativity among artists (for the most part).  Dancers are like this, too.  They are totally uncompromising with themselves and with their work, but as individuals, there is such a spirit of support for one another and healthy attitudes - and emotions right there on the surface.  I sit and watch that show and bawl right along with them like the biggest baby.  Even if they get "sent home," the attitudes of the great majority are so positive and healthy.  There's so much love and spirit and empathy there - well, I could bawl right now thinking about it.  Anyway, of course all these young dancers (and the older judges) are extraordinarily beautiful.  And it is coming from the inside-out.  No surgeon can give that.  Maybe "crossing the line" is like Halloween every day - only the surgeon makes it permanent.

Born to Be Thin/Born to Starve

Today, eating disorders are recognized at all ends of the spectrum, from compulsively eating too much and threatening one's health to compulsively eating too little -- also a life-threatening condition.

The always-interesting New Scientist featured an article by Linda Geddes today that documented a growing recognition that there may be a biochemical and genetic component to anorexia.  The article cited twin studies that showed that between 50 and 83 percent of eating disorders were of genetic origin.  New studies specifically conducted on people suffering from anorexia have shown cognitive similarities to others who have been clinically diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome; which is known to be of genetic origin. 

Specifically, people with anorexia who have these cognitive patterns share inflexibility of thought processes with those who have been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders.  UK researchers used neuropsychological tests to measure "central coherence," or the ability to focus on larger concepts as opposed to fine details.  The "false body image" of people with anorexia has been very well-documented; unable (without help) to "see" that they are actually extremely thin, people with anorexia can see only certain body parts at a time, or become fixated on imagined "fat" areas that do not exist.  Many eating disorders also reflect a desire to control one's body and life, while overlooking the long-term health consequences related to the "control" - i.e., malnutrition and starvation.

Other researchers in the UK are taking a slightly different approach.  In recognizing that Aspergers or other forms of autism are more often diagnosed in males, they are now wondering if a similar thought pattern occurring in females does take the form of anorexia, as some of the women studied shared more traits than just patterns of thought with those on the Aspergers/autism spectrum.  The best news of all was that some patients who had received treatment to help counteract rigid thinking had already experienced improvements, and were better-able to manage their self-images and decisions about eating.  Apparently, these ideas have been around for a while - one person commenting on this mother's eating disorder blog said that only $1.20 in research funding per patient diagnosed with eating disorders was spent, as compared to over $150 for patients diagnosed with schizophrenia.  Well, these have all been in my family, so I consider that I've got all the bases covered.

They are Healthy & Happy in Roseto

Like numerous others, I really loved Malcolm Gladwell's book Outliers.  The book begins with the story of Roseto, a small town in Pennsylvania that was settled by immigrants from Italy.  You can read the excerpt for free here.

How did I get "School History"?  Too lazy to open CS4, that's how.

This is Roseto's one-room schoolhouse from around the turn of the century. 

The point of Malcolm's Roseto story is that Roseto was one of the first places in America where public health researchers started to study group-related factors related to good, or poor, health.

When researchers went to Roseto in the 1950's, they discovered that the residents of the town had great health.  They suffered far fewer instances of heart disease, and lived much longer, healthier, happier lives than the average American at the time. 

Was it their diet?  Genetics?  Exercise habits?  Absence of negative health factors such as smoking or alcohol abuse?

Nah.  The Rosetans ate a diet with about 41% of the calories from fat (sound like fast food?  Yes, it's the Morgan Spurlock diet). As a side note, Morgan's website is gone from the internet.  Some jerk employed by the fast food industry has a glass-chewing anti-Morgan site up now.  You know what?  You're an ass - and everyone should know eating McDonalds every day is bad for you.  At least in Roseto, those fat calories came from home-cooked food.

And that's just it.  Why were the Rosetans so healthy, despite the fact that they smoked, drank dago red, ate unhealthy food and didn't even exercise much?  Because they lived together in a great community, they had large, happy families with all generations living together, and things were just overall, great in Roseto.

I've done a lot of thinking on the sci-fi/fantasy community over the years.  This is due to the fact that in nearly all respects, I'm the "fish out of water" in that environment.  I think differently, I look differently, heck, most of the time, I even pass for a "normal," non-geeky person. Is it a community, yes?  A community, no? 

I think the answer is "yes".  And I think the "community" can feel great about that.  I think it's even, in its own strange, international, internet way, a little like a sci-fi Roseto.  Put that in your pipe and smoke it, the next time you're at a con. Not only did William Shatner change the world, there's even a saying along these lines for the "community".  Live long, and prosper.

Patrick Swayze's Fight: I'm Praying and Hoping For Him

My best friend Cathy was always more of a Patrick Swayze fan than I was.  It wasn't that I didn't think Patrick was a talented actor and a fantastic dancer - of course I did and do.  She just really liked him!  Patrick was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer right as I was writing one of the most difficult book projects I've ever undertaken (that's Amazon Canada - the book isn't quite out yet - but it looks like it's pre-selling a lot).

I had no idea how heart-wrenching writing a book about pancreatic cancer would be, as I started.  My mother died of pancreatic cancer at age 40 when I was 3 months old. I learned from my brother a couple of years ago that the information I had been given by my grandmother wasn't accurate.  My mother had been diagnosed with the cancer and receiving treatments for at least two years before she became pregnant with me.  Upon learning she was pregnant, she stopped chemotherapy and radiation treatments and continued with the pregnancy - I was born three months prematurely as well.  So, she didn't "get" cancer while pregnant, she sacrificed her life for mine.  I know that's a choice I would make myself, or would have made, if such a situation had arisen, but it still makes me - well, it's difficult to express such deep emotions.  I am now six years older than she was when she died.

I knew that Patrick Swayze had a tremendous challenge when he was diagnosed with Stage IV pancreatic cancer.  Pancreatic cancer continues to receive a smaller amount of funding than other cancers (notably, prostate, colon and breast cancer).  The unique nature of the disease (although precursors are known - smoking, dietary habits, and heredity play a role) - it is so difficult to combat, primarily because it is often advanced when discovered, has probably caused some of the de-emphasis on research into prevention and cure or treatment.  It's worth noting that another well-known person, Steve Jobs, was also diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and is a survivor.  Steve had the less-common and more curable form of pancreatic cancer - as opposed to adenocarcinoma, the more common, aggressive and deadly form that Patrick Swayze and my mother had and have.

Last week, I saw an ad for a new show called The Beast on A & E starring Patrick.  He looked fantastic, and it was obviously an action show.  I was so excited.  I heard and saw all of the dire tabloid predictions - Patrick was at death's door, he was saying goodbye to his family and friends, he was down to 80 pounds and had given up, bleh bleh bleh.

Now, this morning, Jillian, Dorothy and Steve had a feature on Patrick and his interview this evening with Barbara Walters.  Patrick looked fantastic, and he was full of passion and fire and life.  He is anything but "dead."  After making his feelings very clear, he told Barbara, "Hope is a very, very fragile thing in anyone's life, and the people I love do not need to have that hope robbed from them, when it's unjustified and it's untrue."

Just now, searching on pancreatic cancer and Patrick Swayze, there are dozens of negative articles - some even sounding like they hope that he will die, and as gruesomely as possible.  I don't know what to say about that, except to say that I had tears in my eyes as I saw him this morning being interviewed by Barbara Walters.  He has only missed a day and a half of work during this whole period he's been fighting the cancer.  I know that during my writing of the pancreatic cancer book, I was following the story of Dr. Dennis Lee, who founded MedicineNet and who had been unexpectedly diagnosed with a similar stage of pancreatic cancer to Patrick Swayze.  Dr. Lee was writing inspirational messages on MedicineNet and discussing his treatment - and by the time I was finishing page proofs, Dr. Lee had died. 

I think that - looking back at all of it - of course I am praying for Patrick Swayze and his family.  But the measure of our lives is how we live them, and how we leave them.  No matter what happens, Patrick Swayze has made it clear he's going to live his life to the fullest, with hope and joy and a love of life.  And that's really all that any of us can do.

Angelina Jolie has PORES and a Mole? Nooooooo!

The biggie, number one news story this a.m. was the presence, or lack thereof, of a mole on Angelina Jolie's face, as pictured on Entertainment Weekly's current cover.  The ever-classy Gawker refers to "blemishes," etc. and calls the photo "remarkably unflattering."  It isn't the most flattering picture, but mostly due to whatever weird stuff they did to her chin in Photoshop.  Somehow, a "created" face just doesn't look right.

Just Jared really loves this completely artificial masterpiece of Photoshop on the July Vanity Fair.  It's following in VF's recent tradition of high-class gossipy smack -- none of the "famous" on its cover are looking much like themselves any longer, but rather more like some idealized cyborg versions with somewhat similar coloring.

It's like the animated computer "people" as seen in Beowulf.  Maybe a few people like that.  I think it creeps nearly everyone else out.  They think they're achieving "perfection," but all they're doing is sending the people they tell us are supposed to be our "idols" into the "uncanny valley."  Good work - keep going.  Glad to be getting old, that's for sure.

So You Think You Can Dance?

I've only casually watched a few bits here and there of one of the many reality/competition shows -- So You Think You Can Dance?  I don't follow dance any longer, but with eight years of ballet, six years of modern, four of tap, four of jazz and then being the very worst jazz dance teacher EVARRR, I have some idea of what they are talking about.  There are so many new, urban styles of dance now, and the sense that there isn't just one right way to dance.  I really love that aspect of the show.

I watched the Washington, DC auditions the other evening and I was completely blown away by some of the most talented dancers I've seen in years.  Markus Shields did a great job, but they were struggling to get him to smile - Markus wore a t-shirt with his mom's face on it.  She had passed away - I wasn't sure when, but somebody told me just this past Christmas.  It was very understandable Markus was very sad, but his talent did shine through and he did it for his mom's memory.  Look at Robert Muraine! He's a favorite of people who like urban dance and he's great. To my eyes (and the judges too, I think) the incredible standout even beyond all the other talented dancers was Brandon Bryant.

My Heart Goes Out to the Riggio Family

Via Patricia E. Bauer, I learned of the recent passing of 20 year-old Melissa Riggio, who was the daughter of Steve and Laura Riggio.  Steve is the CEO of Barnes & Noble.

Melissa had leukemia, and according to Patricia, she bravely faced the illness, but lost her battle on April 7.  Melissa also was born with Down Syndrome, and her life inspired many others.  She had a rich, full life -- she was honored by the National Down Syndrome Society (NDSS) in 2003.  She had just graduated from Bernards High School in 2007, where she was elected Prom Queen.  Among her many talents, she loved to sing, dance and write poetry.  She was looking forward to going further with her education, in order to become a counselor at the YMCA where she worked in the office.

Many people have probably seen the commercial by the Foundation for a Better Life which features a girl with Down Syndrome being crowned prom queen.

It hurts to think of Melissa's family losing her just as her life was getting started.  As many know, my son was born with Down Syndrome (Anthony, who died in January, 2005).  I had been through quite a journey through pregnancy, and I can't say how much Gail Williamson of the Down Syndrome of Los Angeles helped me, to understand what Down Syndrome meant, and what it didn't mean.  Gail's son Blair is a fantastic actor, with a rich and full life - just like Melissa.   As you can see, Blair is a handsome young man.  I hoped for that for Anthony.  Actually, Anthony's name was Lali, or "Lee."  Lali was amazing and was coming along so fast before he died. I will always remember how he would never get tired or fussy when he was with our play therapist.  She pointed up things most ordinary people wouldn't know without her special training.  Lali's neck muscles were weaker on one side than on the other, so we were working to strengthen them.  We were working on all of his coordination and abilities.  No matter what, he tried to do everything and kept going and trying long past the point most babies would have become completely frustrated and cranky.  I'll never forget his beautiful face and smile. 

Bit by bit as I am able, I want to tell his true story.

Well, first of all, I believe that Down Syndrome is not a disability.  There is no way to know how much kids with Down Syndrome can accomplish, because even as recently as Blair or Melissa were born, parents were told that their children could never accomplish, or do anything.  Fortunately, neither the Riggios nor Gail Williamson believed any of these common statements (that are still frequently stated today). Therefore Melissa and Blair have been free to develop just as any child not born with Down Syndrome.  And what both accomplished is something all of us can be proud of, as human beings.

Every day with Lee was a precious day.  He was a pure spirit of love.  Lee died at only six months of age, but by age 3 months, he was saying, "I love you."  The week before he died, he was calling me "Mama" and saying, "I love you, Mama."  Just holding him and being near him filled everyone with love.  He was the most precious, special baby in the whole world.  My grief knows no words.

I can't imagine the void that Melissa's passing has left in her family and friends.  This is my small tribute.  People who have a child born with Down Syndrome are not to be pitied, they are to be envied.  Down Syndrome is here for a reason.  It truly is a different ability, not a disability.

Hitler: Flatulent Fuhrer

This is, of course, a picture of happy Benito Mussolini and a pleasantly smiling Adolf Hitler. 

This current gas trend has led to yet another amazing fact that I did not know.  Hitler suffered from horrible gas!  That's right - he spent at least 15 years, and perhaps more, searching for a cure for his embarrassing problem.  According to author Tony Perrottet quoting Hitler's personal physician Dr. Morell, “constipation and colossal flatulence occurred on a scale I have seldom encountered before.”

Hitler's architect and friend Albert Speer reported that Hitler would often leap up from the dinner table, ashen-faced, obviously a victim of digestive trouble.   Other less-funny facts are the effect of Hitler's digestive issues on the course of WWII, and his personal physician Morell's lack of qualifications and terrible reputation -- apparently the man was hated by everyone except the Fuhrer.  Morell's concoctions contained strychnine and other poisonous elements.  Hitler took so many of the treatments that his physical decline has been clearly attributed medical historians to Morell's bizarre injections and pills.

This delightful info is actually based on an excerpt from Tony' Perrottet's book which is due out in July from William Morrow:  Napoleon's Privates: 2,500 Years of History Unzipped.  I'm not so sure I needed to know about Hitler's massive gas problem, but I am curious about Napoleon's package.  Sort of.  The cover has all these historical figures, but something about it just says "Tristram Shandy."